Tribal Football

LIVE FROM HOLSTEIN: Kane hits Bayern Munich hat-trick as Kieler players admit "we s*** our pants!"

LIVE FROM HOLSTEIN: Kane hits Bayern Munich hat-trick as Kieler players admit "we s*** our pants!"
LIVE FROM HOLSTEIN: Kane hits Bayern Munich hat-trick as Kieler players admit "we s*** our pants!"Tribalfootball
FROM HOLSTEIN: ”Scoooore a goal for us, scooore a goal for us”. You have got to hand it to the Holstein Kiel supporters.

They backed their team all the way through, and while cheering for a goal from “your” team isn’t the strangest thing to do, at that point Holstein Kiel were 3-0 behind. After 12 minutes. Ouch…

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German broadcaster Sky made a comparison before the game to highlight the contrast between hosts Holstein Kiel and visitors Bayern Munich. Sky had the market value for the Bayern Munich squad at a cool 1000 million Euros. It was 48 for Holstein Kiel. This being football, a difference in squad value doesn’t always guarantee a result for the so-called best side. 

Bayern Munich would have been fully aware of that as they lost their only previous visit to the Holstein- Stadium. That was a cup game back in 2021 when Bayern Munich arrived as a defending champion of not only the Bundesliga but also the German Cup and the Champions League only to get knocked out by Holstein Kiel, then in the second tier.

This time Bayern Munich arrived as defending champions of nothing but determined to make damn sure not to suffer the same embarrassment again in Kiel. Following an almighty blunder in the Kieler defence, Jamal Musiala scored the opener after a measly 15 seconds! 

Chin up, lads, lots of time left was the general message from the terraces naturally dominated by supporters of the home side, but up stepped Harry Kane. The England captain arrived after his centennial match in the England shirt having scored against all 17 opponents he has so far faced in Bundesliga. Holstein Kiel was his 18th and it took him just six minutes to keep his slate full.

The goal for Kane was symbolic of the differences between the two sides. Bayern Munich bought him for three times as much as the entire Holstein Kiel squad was assembled for and it was a game of contrasts. Holstein Kiel are playing their first season in the German top tier. Bayern Munich are record champions. This is also the most northern team ever to play in the Bundesliga against the most southern. 75.024 people pack into the Allianz Arena in Munich, the second biggest, while Holstein- Stadium is the second smallest in the league, fitting in 15.034 souls.

 

Lewis Holtby post-match
Lewis Holtby post-matchTribalfootball

 

Harry Kane was last out of the tunnel for Bayern Munich, while the home side was led by captain Lewis Holtby. The former Hamburger SV fan-favourite is enjoying an “Indian summer” to his career having led Kiel to promotion and himself back in the topflight. He is by far the only Kieler to have rubbed shoulders with players of Harry Kane’s calibre as the two of them were teammates when Holtby was under contract at Tottenham Hotspur between 2013 and 2015. The pair managed seven games together in a Spurs shirt, remarkably winning all seven, but with Kane making it 4-0 just before half-time there was only ever going to be one winner on the evening. 

“I totally gifted them the second goal for which I apologize the team, obviously, but I am not going to lose sleep over it. It’s football, mistakes happen, and this was a lesson for us as a team,” captain Holtby calmly stated after the game. Team-mate Timo Becker was a bit more agitated when faced with the press. “We s***t our pants. It was poor and I am furious,” he fumed.  

Bayern Munich coach Vincent Kompany is the third manager of Bayern Munich since the aforementioned cup-defeat against Holstein Kiel and he made a winning comeback to Kiel. He played here once before when turning out for Hamburger SV who won 5-0 to which he alluded in the press conference.

“I played and won here in 2007, so I know how far this club has come and full credit to their amazing fans who were cheering even when 5-0 down. You build a club on fans like that,” said the Belgian boss respectfully. 

Kompany gave a few players their first run-out in the line-up this season, among them former Fulham ace Joao Palhinha for instance who amazingly did what Palhinha is better at than most others; received a yellow card. The first and only card on the night to a player.

 

Pre-kick off at Holstein
Pre-kick off at HolsteinTribalfootball

 

Kompany left Musiala and Serge Gnabry in the dressing room at half time, replacing them with record-man Thomas Müller and Michael Olise. With little excitement on the pitch, one was able to enjoy a beautiful evening sky as the sun set over Schleswig before the latter made it 5-0.

Game over, naturally, but the home supporters were finally rewarded for backing up their team magnificently when Armin Gigovic scored the goal they’d been singing for so long. The stadium exploded but Harry Kane wasn’t finished yet as he made it 6-1 from the penalty spot. His third on the night, taking him to 49 goals in 49 games for Bayern Munich.

Bayern Munich are back at the top of the table, while Holstein Kiel are licking their wounds. 

“Even against second- or third-tier teams we would have concede from mistakes like the ones we made, and we can’t allow that to happen,” Kiel player Benedikt Pichler said after the game, and it is hard to disagree. Keep doing that and Holstein Kiel face a long hard season.