The Cherries were 2-0 up inside the opening 15 minutes before Sunderland fought back to win, with the visitors also having Lewis Cook sent off.
Iraola told the Daily Echo: “If you are a Bournemouth supporter or you wear the badge of Bournemouth today, I think everyone will get a yellow card or red card.
“I got the yellow card. My assistants, I think Tommy (Elphick) got the yellow card, Shaun (Cooper) got a yellow card.
“I think the players, you have to have your head level. But I think he has been so influenced in the referee today.
“I wanted to score the 3-3 so I could even complain more about the referee. Now when you lose it looks like bad loser, you complain about the referee.
“I think he has absolutely lost control of the game. I think starting with the penalty. But it's not even one decision.
“The other day we discussed about the red card of Kiliman or not, it’s one decision, okay. The third goal is coming from a foul that it cost Amine Adli I think in the halfway line. There is nothing there.
“There is a part where we have to look at ourselves especially defensive set plays, it’s costing us a lot last games, a lot. I think 80 per cent of the goals we conceded in the last three, four games come from set plays.
“But there is a part where absolutely the referee has been very influential. Very, very influential.”