Clarke Carlisle has revealed that he wants to apologise to the lorry driver who hit him when he jumped onto the road in December.
Carlisle has opened up about the incident in an upcoming edition of GQ magazine and admits he wants to speak with the driver to say sorry for actions.
"I feel deeply ashamed and incredibly guilty: that I may have caused lasting trauma to my family but also, what about the driver?" said Carlisle who tried to take his own life after battling depression, alcoholism and gambling.
"I have tried to make contact and he has point-blank refused and I understand that - he has to deal with it as he sees fit - but I wish I could see him and apologise."
Carlisle added: "I was totally devastated... I wanted to go.
"I was convinced it was the right thing to do and I was angry I was still living. They asked me my name and date of birth and I was annoyed I could remember - I didn't even get amnesia... I had my wallet on me so they had taken a look and one of them said, 'This is going to be big'.
"I cannot tell you how delighted I am to be alive (now). Life is full of possibilities. I was totally shaken and stirred as a human being."