At one point near the end, some neat footwork from the Stoke striker down near the dug-out even drew a smile of appreciation from the Crawley boss.
The Glaswegian said: "I told him all my information was that his control was s**te - he smiled and gave me a big wink! I thought he was a credit to the game today.
"We couldn't do anything about him."
Tony Pulis confirmed: "Crouch was outstanding. They couldn't handle him."