Big Sam, 58, is nursing four stitches in his nut and will be sporting a black eye when he leads out the Hammers at Liverpool tomorrow.
He arrived for a Press conference yesterday with a plaster over his right eye after slipping over in a 'kitchen accident'.
The former Bolton defender hopes the bruises will help put the frighteners on Liverpool.
But he admitted: "I recommend not having a marble worktop. I'd say it won hands down."