The Sun says the pair have been at loggerheads for weeks over the England striker's refusal to commit himself to Tottenham until 2012.
That anger boiled over into an explosive Jol tirade on Friday, with Defoe then axed for the 3-1 derby defeat by Arsenal at White Hart Lane.
A Spurs insider said boss Jol screamed at Defoe: "I will never sell you to any top-four club. You can rot in the reserves if that's what it takes.
"But I'm never going to let you leave here just because you want to go to another big club."