Mourinho deferred to the UEFA interpreter on his right, suggesting he had guessed the visitors' line-up correctly and read out the first five names on the team-sheet.
"Petr Cech, (Branislav) Ivanovic, (John) Terry, (Gary) Cahill and (Cesar) Azpilicueta," said Mourinho, who opened his eve-of-match media conference by announcing Azpilicueta had become a father on Monday to a girl, Martina.
Asked to read further, Mourinho screwed up the piece of paper.
It was metaphoric, for all season Mourinho has bemoaned the quality of his strike-force.
For breaking stories and all the great banter like us on Facebook: facebook.com/tribalfootball