Manchester United fullback Patrice Evra admits he cannot return home to Senegal.
Evra sparked fury back home in 2002 when he opted to play for France's Under-21s rather than the country of his birth.
Evra is now poised to captain Les Bleus when they start their World Cup campaign against Uruguay in Cape Town on Friday.
The left-back, 29, explained: "I grew up amid a Senegalese culture at home.
"But we became Westernised very quickly and when I had to choose between playing for Senegal or France my father told me to follow my heart.
"I opted for France, as that was where I had grown up, but I then came in for lots of abuse in Senegal.
"I was called a monkey who grovels before the white man and labelled a money-obsessed traitor to the nation. But my parents helped me get through it.
"I had not been back to Senegal since the age of 10.
"I have still not returned. It is 19 years now and I need an incentive to make me go."