"I want to keep him but the chairman does not want another Sol Campbell on his hands.
"Jermain tells everybody he loves the club and we love him.
"We've made him a good offer but he won't even discuss it."
Defoe, 24, has two years left on his contract but is unhappy at sitting on the bench.
And he confronted Jol after getting just 15 minutes during the 4-0 win over Derby.
Jol added: "This is not a kindergarten - it's a tough business."