Manchester United mad Anton Marks is fed-up with managers always getting it in the neck when their players fail to perform. He wants the tables turned!
When a football manager fails to do his job, he’ll get the sack. Sometimes it’ll be a slow death: a string of poor results which builds pressure on the owner over weeks or even months, until they finally put the gaffer out of his misery. Sometimes, it will come as a swift reaction to a particularly galling loss against perceived weaker opposition.
Over the medium to long-term, it is not too dissimilar in terms of football players; if they consistently fail to perform they will eventually find themselves out of the team and eventually out of the club.
But players don’t have to fear a good old knee-jerk firing – until now.
In my parallel world of ultimate football justice, players who have endured a 90 minutes which could best be described as a horror show, should be made to clear out their locker immediately following the full time whistle.
By way of examples, a couple of performances of recent weeks spring to mind. With regards to Manchester United, it’s hard to pick out specific ineptitude in a season of taking ineptitude onto new levels, but Chris Smalling’s appalling impression of being a footballer on Tuesday night against Olympiakos in the Champions League should have been enough for him to have been shown the door, there and then, as he was moping off the pitch. Don’t let him shower, don’t let him change, put him in a cab and tell the driver to drive straight to the job centre.
Similarly, Liverpool fans watched in disbelief this month as their defender Kolo Toure endured inexcusable shockers in their matches against both West Brom and Fulham – an own goal, gifting away another goal and at one point clumsily knocking over the referee.
So the match ends and Brendan Rodgers shakes the hand of the opposing manager. He appreciates the support of the traveling Liverpool fans and then marches straight up to Toure to proclaim those immortal words, “You’re sacked!”
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