He has a few more weeks of torture, wearing the made-to-measure protective mouthguard, which fits over his dental wiring - complete with Stoke City crest!
Crouch grumbled: "It's so big it looks bloody ridiculous.
"Breathing through my mouth is really difficult with it in. But if it gets me playing then I can put up with it.
"Maybe I'll start a trend and the youngsters will all want one.