Chelsea boss Grant's amazing wobbler

Grant's post-match media conference lasted just five minutes and 39 seconds as he delivered a series of abrupt answers to questions from journalists.

The Daily Mail listed the full transcript ...

Q: A deserved win Avram?

Grant: 'Yes.'

Q: What particularly pleased you about the performance?

Grant: 'I'm pleased.'

Q: What in particular pleased you?

Grant: (after an eight second delay): 'I don't know.'

Q: Is it a relief to win here?

Grant: 'Yes.'

Q: You seem lost for words by the performance. Are you more satisfied with the performance or the victory?

Grant: 'Both.'

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Q: You seem distracted. Do you have a problem?

Grant: 'No problem.'

Q: Is there an issue?

Grant: 'No. I'm ok. I have nothing to say.'

Q: Do you have a message for the Chelsea fans?

Grant : 'You represent the Chelsea fans?'

Q: They must believe you are still in the title race, do you have a message for them?

Grant: 'No message.'

Q: Does this result mean you are back in it now?

Grant: 'I don't know.'

Q: How many steps have you climbed to undertake this press conference?
Grant: 'I don't know.'

Q: You seem less voluble than usual. Is it because of Sky TV moving the game to a Thursday?
Grant: 'Maybe it's because of you. I don't know. I am ok.'

Q: You are saying that you don't know if you are still in the title race?
Grant: 'No.'

Q: Is it easier to say nothing Avram?
Grant: 'I don't know what to answer. It is a good question. I don't know what to answer.'

Q: Is this because of Sky?
Grant: 'No. Sky is ok. I enjoy watching them.'

Q: Is it a protest against newspapers?
Grant: 'No. Why?'

Q: Why else would you come in and refuse to answer our questions?
Grant: 'I answer every question.'

Q: You are two points behind Manchester United and you don't know if you are still in the title race?
Grant: 'No.'

Q: Have you told the players that you don't know if you are back in the title race?
Grant: 'What I tell the players is something else. You want me to tell you what I say to the players?'

Q: We just want you to answer the question, really. Are you in the title race?
Grant: 'I don't know.'

Q: Would you not like to gain some positive publicity for the result rather than this bizarre silence?
Grant: 'I'm sorry. You can write whatever you want and I can answer what I want.'

Q: Do you feel under pressure to deliver a trophy. Is that the reason for the monosyllabic answers?
Grant: 'No.'

Q: Are you upset? Do you feel you have been misrepresented?
Grant: 'Maybe I have said because it is a bad season.'

Q: Did Michael Essien faint?
Grant: 'He had some problems, but he is ok.'

Q: Michael Ballack?
Grant: 'Injured.'

Q: What's his problem?
Grant: 'Ask the doctor.'

Q: He's not here Avram.
Grant: 'Well call him then.'

Q: Have you ever played the yes/no game Avram?

Chelsea press officer: 'This is going nowhere. Let's end it.'

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