The Gunners made a reported £10million offer for the French midfielder on Monday evening before he withdrew from the City clash at Etihad Stadium which ended 4-0 to the home side.
Pardew was obviously upset after the match and felt his side could have given a better account if Cabaye had have played.
"When you do a pre-season like we have and been very thorough and prepared with the lad for three days and for him to have his head turned by this bid from Arsenal on the eve of a game is just disrespectful in my view," he said.
"Why it couldn't have waited until tomorrow morning, I do not know, and I don't think the result would have been the same if he had played."
He later added: "I think it is just a very difficult situation when a player gets news like that and it wasn't us who gave him the news. That it is very hard to get your head round to play a game of this magnitude.
"I don't really want to comment any more than that. It is pretty obvious I am upset about that and I would rather focus on what for us has been a tough day. We have 37 games to go and we need to make sure we don't let this game emotionally scar us.
"I am not sure of the exact terms of it but it is below our valuation of the player, for sure."